Forget You
by Tracy-Lou
Summary: Ste tries to forget Brendan after he hits him again but finds it isn't as easy as he hoped it would be…


Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Hollyoaks!

Summary: Ste tries to forget Brendan after he hits him again but finds it isn't as easy as he hoped it would be…

A/N: Slightly angsty, this is just a one-shot. Enjoy!

Forget You

Ste stumbled home, his tears blinding him and blood running down his chin from his mouth. He couldn't believe what had just happened. Brendan had hit him, _again. _He had really thought that this aspect of their relationship was over; he never believed that Brendan would find it in himself to hit him again. Oh how wrong Ste was…

He had completely flipped out because Ste had mentioned Pete, an old friend of Brendan's who had just arrived in the village. Was it really Ste's fault that he felt jealous of him? The last man that had turned up looking for Brendan had been Macca so how was Ste to know that this Pete wasn't an ex-lover as well? They certainly seemed uncomfortable around each other and Pete had reacted strangely to Ste when he'd classed Brendan and himself as 'mates'.

Ste shook his head. Oh they were more than mates all right… Ste opened his front door and went in quietly, praying that Amy and the kids were asleep. Thankfully they seemed to be. He tiptoed quietly to the bathroom and used a flannel to stem the blood from his mouth. It didn't look too bad; no one would ask too many questions. Ste wasn't even sure if he wanted them to or not. He knew one thing for certain; this was Brendan's last chance, it just had to be.

Once he was sufficiently cleaned up, Ste got into his pyjamas and climbed into bed. He lay on his back, his eyes staring wide and unseeing at the ceiling. Where did everything go so wrong? He had started to believe that Brendan actually cared about him but tonight had proved that that definitely wasn't the case. Brendan had too much hatred in him to possibly love anyone. Ste felt himself tearing up again but he shook his head angrily. No, he wouldn't waste any more tears on Brendan Brady. Enough was enough. It was time to forget, time to forget _him. _

The next day Ste went into work not knowing what to expect. Brendan had acted strangely; acting as though they had merely had a fight and that was it. Ste was livid. Brendan had whispered into his ear that he would come back to him; a part of him deep inside knew that to be true but another part, a part which was growing stronger every day, promised himself that he wouldn't go back to him.

A week passed and Ste's face healed. Brendan treated him normally but was more on edge than usual. Ste tended to steer well clear of him. Sometimes he felt Brendan's eyes on him lingering but he never gave him the satisfaction that he acknowledged his stares. After a while it was easy to forget anything had happened between them.

Pete had been hanging around a lot recently; Ste didn't know what to make of him. Amy seemed to trust him so Ste tested that theory by talking to him even though Brendan had told him not to. It was the first time in over a week that Brendan had acknowledged that there was anything between them that could involve Pete in some way. Ste was staying strong though; there was no way he was letting Brendan back in. Not this time.

His talk with Pete had given him a lot to think about. He'd told him not to worry; that Brendan was his problem now and he would make sure he steered clear of him. Ste's stomach had clenched at that thought. Did he want Brendan to stay away from him? His mind said yes but his body and heart were conflicted. Brendan had changed once, could he again? Ste shook his head to clear these thoughts from his mind; no, he would never change. Not until he accepted who he was.

The next few weeks were fairly uneventful; Ste barely even spoke to Brendan. In fact he avoided him at all costs. He started talking to that Noah from the gym more, he seemed like a nice guy, out and proud. Amy encouraged him, telling him he could do with a new friend right now to take his mind off of things. They had gone out a few times to The Dog for drinks; Noah flirting with him and Ste feigning ignorance. He wasn't quite ready for another relationship right now; especially with another man… If he went with Noah he wouldn't be able to stop himself comparing him to Brendan even though they were complete opposites of each other.

So he kept it casual; chatted to Noah like a mate and made it clear that was all they were. Noah didn't appear disheartened by this; he seemed hopeful that he would eventually win Ste round. Ste wasn't sure why he was so bothered; it wasn't as though he were anything special. Brendan had made him feel special a few times but they were fleeting and were almost always followed with indifference.

About four weeks after their…confrontation, Brendan finally spoke to Ste again in a manner which excluded general work chat.

"Stephen" he said quietly. They were alone after the lunch time rush had died down. Ste hadn't even realised it was just him and Brendan until Brendan had spoken to him. He tended to avoid situations like this at all costs.

"What is it, Brendan?" He asked, annoyed. He refused to look up.

"You've been…absent lately" Brendan said indifferently. No change there then.

"I've been busy" Ste replied brusquely.

"Uh huh" Brendan said, unconvinced.

Ste felt Brendan move closer behind him. He stiffened, anticipating the worst. Brendan didn't move any closer however.

"You've been hanging around that Noah kid, haven't ye?" Brendan's voice was cold and emotionless. Ste felt surprised that Brendan had even noticed. He chose to say nothing in reply.

Brendan moved closer; he was right behind Ste now, trapping him between his body and the bar. Ste felt himself start to sweat and his hands to shake. He balled his hands into fists; angry at himself for such a reaction. Brendan placed a hand gently on his waist but Ste jerked out of the touch, spinning round to face Brendan to tell him where to go. But when he did so he realised how close Brendan was; his breath was dancing across his face; his eyes were smouldering, taking in Ste's close proximity, sniffing the air as though scouting out the likelihood of a positive response from Ste.

Ste felt himself frowning; he stepped back but his back hit the bar. He winced and cursed himself for getting even more trapped in this situation. Brendan stepped closer to him.

"I've missed ye" he said softly, his lips quirking up into a smile. Ste rearranged his expression into a mask of nothingness.

"I don't care" he said through gritted teeth, praying that he could get out of here as fast as possible at the earliest opportunity.

Brendan sighed but didn't lose his confidence. He placed a hand on Ste's cheek, softly stroking him. Ste tried to jerk away but the space between them was too close; there was no where to run.

"Just… leave me alone, okay?" Ste asked, his voice cracking. He was angry at himself for sounding so weak. He straightened up to show he was stronger than this but that had been a mistake. He was now so close to Brendan he could practically taste his breath in his mouth. He felt the long controlled stirring of passion deep in his stomach begin to emerge at the close proximity. He swallowed thickly, finally looking into Brendan's eyes.

"I don't want to leave ye alone, Stephen" Brendan breathed, his hand still on Ste's cheek. He used it to bring Ste closer, pressing his lips against his. For a moment Ste was lost; he forgot about everything that had passed between them four weeks ago; lost himself in his memory of Brendan, his good memories about him. He felt himself giving in, giving himself wholly to Brendan. His mouth opened to allow Brendan's tongue entrance; chasing his own and catching it. It felt so good to taste him again. Ste felt himself moan in pleasure, making Brendan chuckle. That made Ste remember, he pulled away hastily, pushing Brendan away from him.

"No, Brendan. I'm not doing this again" Ste said, squaring his shoulders.

Brendan looked disappointed. "I'm sorry about what happened, Stephen. I was out of line, I shouldn't have hit ye like that"

Ste was stunned for a moment. He'd gotten an actual apology. It didn't change anything though.

"You're right, you shouldn't have. But I'm not putting myself through all this again. I'm better than that" Ste tried to instil confidence into his tone; he wasn't even sure himself if he was convinced by what he was saying. Brendan cocked his head to the side, searching Ste's face.

"Let me make it better" Brendan said, moving forwards again. Ste moved swiftly to the side, walking backwards towards the stairs.

"I'm leaving, right now. Don't corner me like this again, it isn't fair"

"Why not? Because ye still feel something for me?" Brendan looked confident, cocky even. Ste pressed his lips together firmly.

"Whether I do or not makes no difference. We're over now, I told you that before"

"Ye and how long will that last?" Brendan seemed to be getting irritated now.

"As long as it takes" Ste replied, grimacing. He turned his back on Brendan and practically flew down the stairs. His shift wasn't over but he didn't care. He didn't want to spend one more second in the same room as him; he didn't know how long he would be able to resist.

XXX

When evening came, Ste was grateful that he was alone in the flat. Amy had gone to stay at her dads with the kids and Rae was with her Nan. Ste settled in front of the television, wrapped in a blanket with some chocolate to comfort him. He'd probably get the sack tomorrow for walking out on his shift like that but he didn't care. Brendan had almost tempted him back and Ste couldn't go back to him; not until he sorted his head out at least, maybe not even then.

He was annoyed to hear a knock at the door and was almost tempted to ignore it. But then he heard Brendan's voice filter through the closed door.

"Stephen? Are ye there? We need to talk" He sounded pretty serious; Ste didn't want to make things any worse than they already were so he decided to let him in.

Opening the door he crossed his arms to create a barrier between himself and Brendan. Brendan walked through the door like he owned the place and Ste let him pass, not daring to touch him in any way.

"Ye left ye shift early" Brendan commented, standing by the sofa and stroking the fabric.

"I know, I'm sorry about that. I'll come in early tomorrow" Ste replied, staying as far out of Brendan's reach as possible.

"Good…good" Brendan said indifferently. He looked up at Stephen. "I meant it ye know, when I said I missed ye" he said softly.

"Well it's your own fault, Brendan for hitting me" Ste replied angrily.

Brendan closed his eyes in agitation. "I apologised for that, Stephen. It won't happen again, I promise ye"

"Oh yeah? And how can I believe you?" Ste challenged.

"Because the last time I hit ye did I say anything like that? I've changed, Stephen. When I hit ye again my head was all over the place. Not saying that excuses it but it was a mistake and I don't plan on making it twice" Brendan seemed so earnest that Ste wavered for a moment until he remembered all the times he had apologised to Amy in the past and had then hurt her again soon after…

Brendan seemed to sense his reluctance and stepped a bit closer to him. Ste backed away in response. Brendan sighed and looked at Ste, exasperated.

"Ye of all people should understand what it's like to make a mistake, Stephen"

"Yeah and because I know that, I know how easy it is to make it again and again" Ste said bitterly, hanging his head.

"What do ye want me to do?"

"I want you to get help, I want you to be honest about yourself" Ste said for what felt like the hundredth time.

"And then ye will forgive me?" Brendan cocked his head to the side questioningly.

"Maybe" Ste said, sighing at his lack of will power.

Brendan smiled, moving closer to Ste as though satisfied now it was fine to do so. Ste didn't move away from him this time.

Brendan came to stand right in front of Ste and touched his cheek, running his thumb over the smooth skin and leaving it to rest just under Ste's chin. Ste closed his eyes at the touch, unable to resist the feelings Brendan stirred inside of him.

"Stephen…may I kiss ye?" Brendan asked, amused.

Ste snorted in laughter. "You don't normally ask"

"Well, I thought it was time I was more of a…gentleman"

Ste laughed again. "Yeah right"

"Is that a yes then?" Brendan said, his lips very close to Ste's own now. Ste swallowed, no longer laughing.

"Maybe" his voice croaked. That was enough invitation for Brendan who moved the remaining distance between them and claimed Ste's lips.

What occurred next drove all doubt out of Ste's mind, at least temporarily. Brendan pushed him against the wall and kissed him passionately, his hands tangled in Ste's hair. Ste felt his tongue slip into Brendan's mouth, tasting him, moaning when he realised how desperately he had missed him, in spite of everything.

Brendan started pushing Ste's clothes off, desperate to touch his bare skin. Ste shivered when Brendan ran a hand down his spine all the way to his rear. Ste pushed himself against Brendan, urgent in his need to feel him against him. Feeling dominant for a change, Ste pushed Brendan back onto the sofa and mounted him, rubbing himself against Brendan's entry. Brendan groaned, his head thrown back over the edge of the sofa.

Ste was rarely on top but Brendan didn't object; he allowed Ste to prepare him and then push himself inside of Brendan, making him grit his teeth together to stop himself moaning. Ste sighed, frustrated.

"Just let it out" he told him, kissing his neck while he pushed in and out of him. Brendan bit Ste's shoulder but it wasn't painful. There would be a mark in the morning. He let his moan run free, grabbing at Ste with every thrust he took.

Eventually Ste came, kissing Brendan while he did and grabbing him in his hand to bring him to climax as well.

For the first time, Brendan called out: "Stephen!" as he came. Ste was stunned; normally Brendan was too scared to call his name out in case anyone heard but Brendan seemed to be getting more and more reckless about what he revealed in his feelings towards Ste.

Ste withdrew and lay on Brendan who wrapped an arm around him with Ste's head tucked securely under Brendan's chin. Ste pulled the blanket over them and closed his eyes, deeply satisfied and content. Tomorrow would probably bring more doubt and Ste would try again to resist but if tonight was anything to go by it would be a fruitless attempt.

"I shouldn't have let that happen" Ste said truthfully.

Brendan sighed and kissed the top of his head. "Yeah, ye should have. Ye were…amazing"

"That's not the point" Ste said, blushing at Brendan's praise.

"Then what is?"

"We're bad for each other" Ste said quietly, secretly hating himself for spoiling the mood.

"Who says?"

"No one has to; I can see it for myself"

"Look, Stephen-"

"No, Bren. I don't want to hear it. I already hate myself for giving in to you again but being with you here right now, I just don't care. Tomorrow I might feel differently but tonight I just want you to hold me" Ste's voice lowered on the last few words with suppressed emotion.

Brendan was silent for a moment. "Okay" he said, his own voice struggling to contain its emotion. "But tomorrow I'll prove to ye I can change. Ye mine, Stephen. Ye can't deny that"

"No" Ste said, unsure of whether to be happy at Brendan's words or concerned. "I guess I am".

Brendan held him tighter at his response and Ste sighed; it was going to be much harder than he had imagined to forget Brendan; he was starting to doubt if he even could…


End file.
